Sasha gave me a great alternative ending, less violent but more dramatic than my previous cheap kill.
I've so far managed to knock it down to nearly 6 pages of directed script. Dialogue only has been knocked down to 350 words; approx. 2 pages. It's becoming quite hard to triam any more off without completely losing the story. However, after watching Resevoir Dogs today I think I may be able to use non-linear story telling to both cut down the dialogue and keep the story.
UNIT 4 Third Draft